Why I Hate Going to Parties

Why I avoid parties.

“Oh, look. Another introvert here to complain about his bad social skills, whining on and on about how he rather avoids the mass gatherings, while blaming the world for his own short-comings. While look at us, we, the extroverts are the movers and shakers of the world.”

Well, I don’t know about the last part. But if you think that I’m only here to complain, then you’re absolutely, 100%, right.

But please read this before you make your mind.

So, often when I go to an event or a party, or anything where public gathers, few things happen to me. first, I’m just bound to a chair, unless there are people who’re willing to take me everywhere. (And let’s be honest. you’re there to enjoy yourself, not to take care of this grumbling blind guy.)

Second, music. It basically cripples me. I couldn’t understand anything going on around me.

And third, people with whom I have not met for the last 10 to 15 years constantly asking me to recognize me just through their voice. For the last time, no, I don’t remember you. and stop asking!

Let’s expand these things a little bit, shall we?

Also, I dedicate this article to my cousins, my sister, and my brother-in-law, who always take care of me when I’m forced to go to loud parties, even though I’m sure they would rather do anything else.

Disability getting in the way.

Let’s talk about this first. This used to cause me so much anger as a child. I would go to a party or a wedding, (Oh, how I hate those,) where other children would be running around, and generally enjoying themselves. During this time, I didn’t have a clear idea of what exactly it means to be blind. I basically felt everyone is having fun around me, and I thought that I should be as well.

But the only thing which I got was rejection. I used to be furious at those children, but not anymore. (At least they let me know what they think of me honestly, unlike the lip service adults like to do.)

Consequently, as I grew, I just lost my will to go outside all together. It is part bitterness from the rejection, and part my will to avoid the chaos of the world outside. I’m the king in my house. I know where everything is. Things are not so great outside.

Luckily, as I grew, I managed to make some connections with some people. If they’re with me on an event, I am basically guaranteed to have a great time. (Though I feel guilty for making them take care of me all the time, despite their repeated reassurances that they don’t mind.)

But again, these people are not present all the time in every event. Thus, my default policy, when someone invites me, is to say know. (Or if they are really insistent, lie that I would come and then come up with excuses.)

(Yes, it is an immoral thing to do. But I’m morally bankrupt since I was 11.)

But at least I can thank my cousins for keeping me company, even though I’m sure they would be much happier if they ditch me.

Music.

“Oh, come on. How bad can some music could be? Even if it is loud?”

Well, disregarding all the studies done on the harm which party music does to your ears, (And specially babies and children,) just imagine how bad it would be for the guy who only has his ears to map the world around him.

Let me elaborate a bit. Imagine if you were to see directly at sun, or at any bright source of light directly. How will you feel? Now, imagine, that there is no place for you to get cover from this bright source of light. Imagine, that there are people who are seemingly unaffected by this, and are hellbent on asking you questions, patting you on your back, (Where you feel as if they snuck up on you,) and just won’t give you a break.

This is how I feel when loud music plays in a party. I don’t have eyes. I have 0% vision. The only thing which I have are my ears. So, when loud music is playing in a party, my only sense which can help me in mapping the world around me basically gets neutralized. I don’t understand what people are saying to me, I react badly if someone pats me on my back, and generally I just want to sit as far as the music as possible. This gets even worse in an enclosed area.

As a result, I just cover my ears, (Which doesn’t completely block the sound, but it dulls it enough,) and hope it’ll all be over soon, and then I could just go home and rest.

And forget about the politeness.

Most often, the cousins mentioned above, or my sister and my brother-in-law are stuck caring for me when I’m in my state. For which, I’m endlessly thankful to them. But still, going to parties with me is not easy, not for them, and not for me.

So, there you have it folks. From bitterness, to loss of one long-range sense I have remaining, you have my reasons why I hate going to public gatherings.

That, and I really am that surly.

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Published by Tanish Shrivastava

I'm a guy who likes programming, chess, and writing.

5 thoughts on “Why I Hate Going to Parties

  1. You don’t have to justify yourself for what you call complaining. You’ve earned the right to it and what you have to go through at large gatherings is awful. If I were you I’d avoid loud music altogether to protect my hearing. People suck. They’re very ignorant. But I guess we all are in one way or another.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thing is, if someone says to me that a particular thing is troubling them, then I would do my best that they don’t encounter that thing.

      But people don’t extend the same consideration to me. A while ago, I attended a family gathering, where no music was played. Instead, we just showed up, milled around, talked to the people, ate some good food, and left after exchanging gifts.

      The whole experience was so great that I couldn’t believe myself. It does not mean that I would like to attend a lot of such gatherings, since prolonged interaction with people exhausts me. But I could have a pleasant experience in the public was a new discovery for me.

      Also, I wish more readers were like you, leaving comments. A comment is worth more than a like in my book. Please keep doing that, not just with me, but other bloggers whom you read regularly.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think a lot of people are just thoughtless and don’t put themselves on someone else’s shoes. Until, unfortunately, they learn the hard way.

    And yes I am a big fan of comments. It’s a great way to make friends. Sometimes people come to your blog that way too. I’ve made a lot of blogger friends through comment sections.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ah, I’m just learning this about you today, and I didn’t know you didn’t have vision all this while. That ‘looking at the sun’ analogy gave me a pretty good understanding of what it feels like to be in that situation, so thank you for that added perspective. And people asking you to recognise them through their voice—as if you’re some party trick—is pretty damn crappy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you like this article. It is quite popular, right after the interviews.

      I don’t mention my blindness much while commenting on other blogs. I do mention it here, since it is my personal blog, but even then I keep it limited. I don’t want to be “Look at me, I’m blind, pay attention to me” Kind of guy.

      Like

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